The Kennedy Center has clearly lowered their standards

I'm in Florida for a few days visiting my madre for Christmas, so I feel a little out of touch with anything mid-Eastern related. Imagine my absolute ELATION when I switched the TV onto the last 25 minutes of the Kennedy Center Honors. I immediately felt a little closer to home. And then to make it even better, they were in the middle of honoring Leon Fleischer by performing Beethoven's Choral Fantasy. I felt all learned and artistic because 1. I knew who Leon Fleischer was and had seen him perform live in the last 5 years, and 2. had actually sung the Choral Fantasy (though totally during a traumatic time in my college career). It was still quite enjoyable until they panned around the audience and I saw Vanessa Williams and Kristen Chenowith in the crowd. Who let these ninnies in to the flippin' Kennedy Center?! Honestly... what have either of them done that requires talent? What am I saying? I LOVE Ugly Betty. Okay... let Vanessa in... kick Kristen out.

At any rate, then I saw the most insulting thing ever as they panned across the other recipients of the award: Diana. Ross. Really. Clearly a whole bunch of other people were on the short-list for the award this year and all must've turned it down or had previous engagements or something because... Diana? The only person that she's "inspired" is Beyonce... and all she really taught her is how to take over a pop group for yourself and make your fellow group members back up singers. I lost my gourd. They've gone from flippin Sydney Poitier to her ridiculousness. I got over myself, though. I mean, she is famous... she did have Barry Gordy wrapped around her wiry little finger.

So I had just recovered from Kristen and Diana, and then they started honoring Brian Wilson. Art Garfunkel called him the "Mozart of Rock 'n' Roll" which threw me for the loop, but I love that "God Only Knows" song that they play at the end of Love Actually, so I sucked it up. That is until the Kennedy Center decided to "honor" Brian Wilson by asking LYLE flippin' Lovett to sing it for him and a hall full of people. And then Hootie and the Blowfish sang two random songs followed by some scary English choirboys in white cult-like-looking robes. They apparently failed to tell Hootie and his Blowboys that people stopped wearing fashionable flannel around 1996. Poor Brian Wilson. I would've thrown myself over the balcony the second Lyle Lovett's croony voice started singing a song I wrote. And I know for sure that he's not nearly as mentally stable as I am.

Oh well. Better luck next year, Kennedy Center. Time for me to go. The news is on now, and in Florida, most people lack teeth. My stomach is starting to turn.