Instead of the usual Wednesday deal

I'm lame and forgot to schedule my Wino Wesnesday post. To tide you
over, I have three funny conversations from our adventures today in
Indiana, PA.

Maestro: [insert smart comment here]
Downbeat: Is that how you speak to the woman you love?
Maestro: No, I'm usually much nicer to her.
****
Old Lady at Church: Are you a musician, too? [to me]
Downbeat: Yup, I'm a singer.
Old Lady: Well I'm sure you're not as good as him [points to Maestro].
****
Downbeat: I think I'm going to become a nun.
Maestro: [removes hand from my knee] Would you mind giving me some
advanced notice before you run off and do that?